Journal

June 2017 Recap

Writing: 

More edits down for the count!

I went to 4th Street Fantasy for the first time. I hadn’t been away from home on my own since before my daughter was born. I really just wanted to reconnect with some friends I hadn’t seen in a while, not wake up at 6am, and take a shower without someone banging on the door. You know. A vacation.

Some quick thoughts:

  • The one track programming is nice, because you get to see everyone and continue the discussion between panels (and everyone will know what you’re talking about)
  • It was small and therefore a little less overwhelming for an introvert like myself.
  • But problematic things can occur when you get a diverse group of people together, and some longtime convention goers dislike the shifting demographics. It was my first time, so some things said made me uncomfortable, but I did not feel unsafe and the safety team was terrific.
  • If you are there alone, there are meal ambassadors that will gather a group for you to join for lunches/dinners, so you never have to eat awkwardly by yourself unless you want to.
  • The panels are more 201 than 101, and there are a lot of really smart people in the room to discuss writing with.

I don’t go to many conventions’s, but this was the first I’ve been to where striking up conversation with most people came easily. I went home buzzing with new ideas for how to make my current and future writing better. It also feels as if it came home with me, because the conversations have continued over Twitter. The world is strange and wonderful this way.

But wow, I think I used up all all my socializing skills for the next oh… year or so and I’m going to curl into an introvert ball for a little while.

Not Writing:

Being a mother can sometimes be really strange. My daughter could be my clone. We look so much alike that my parents call her by my name sometimes. Sometimes I look at her and I’ll forget I’m not watching a video of my childhood, or looking in a mirror.

But life gives you so many messages that you are not enough… If only you had shinier hair, or a better car, or whiter teeth… Sometimes even the people you love will point out your flaws (My dad always makes fun of my nose. My mom thinks my freckles are freakish). But I look at my daughter and think she is perfect, despite the days of rebellion, tantrums, and frustration. She is awesome just as she is, and if she is, then maybe I am too? So maybe I can make peace with my nose and all my imperfections. If I can love her as she is (sticky faced, demanding, stubborn, pain in the butt and all), then I should also be better at loving myself as I am.

If you don’t have people in your life that love you as you are (a mess and all), I want you to know that it’s entirely possible. You have always been enough. You have always been worth loving.

Books Read:

  • Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay
  • The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas
  • The Bone Witch by Rin Chupeco

2 Comments

  1. Love your conference recap — it feels so writerly and invigorating 🙂 — and love love LOVE your mom recap. I totally get where you’re coming from, now that I’m a mom too, although I’d say you’re farther along the emotional path than I am.

    1. T. S. Bazelli Author

      It helps to be finally sleeping through the night LOL. Some days are still really tough, and wow is it exhausting, but it does get easier-ish or maybe just different the older they get!

Comments are closed.