Blue Mailbox by Dimitri Popov
Dear Muse,
I gave you a second chance and you blew it. This is an official letter of termination.
I've started training your replacement, and he has been doing a great job so far. The new guy and I edited an entire chapter in one sitting. In ONE SITTING, you hear that, slacker? HAH with you it was two pages in an hour. I bet it would take me a decade to finish this novel with you.
Am I bitter? Yes. You spouted such lovely words, but you never really meant them, did you? You started skipping work and coming in late. You started making excuses... "that's just how I operate" and "you don't really need me", but you were just bored. I watched your eyes wandering to every pretty new idea. You never followed through on anything. I am not a demanding boss, but when I needed a kind word of encouragement, (what else is a muse for?) you'd not be there.
And so, one day you will walk up to this door, find this letter taped to it, and the key won't work. I've rented a new office space and changed my phone number. Don't bother trying to contact me. It's over.
I should have fired you ages ago.
Goodbye,
-Theresa
Ha ha, I took the same action several days ago.
It works wonders being firm. :)
It does! I should have fired him ages ago. I'd have gotten a lot more done hehe.
You did the right thing. He was a no-account layabout, anyway.
;)
I keep mine locked up in a small little box that I carry with me everywhere I go.
Ohh the small box is a good idea. Pocket sized musing?
I now drown out my Muse with wine and Pandora. I work better without her anyway.
LOL you know, that could work...
LoL, stickin' it to him, ey?
Love it!
That's right! Sometimes you've just gotta do it.
My muse woke me up at 3 am last night, and forced me to write in the dark.
Oh I hate it when they do that :(
This reminded me of a piece of flash fiction by Icy Sedgwick:
http://blog.icysedgwick.com/2011/09/friday-flash-agency.html
Oh you're right! It looks like I'm not the only one who has problems with her muse LOL
I'm deeply hoping your muse's replacement wasn't cocaine.
Hehe well now, coffee and liquor (alternately) were up in the running, but no. Just a new muse, this one, hopefully more dependable.
So the question is, who's the new guy? :P
So far this is just a trial run! Not sure if he's going to be permanent yet, but we'll see how he does! If I can finish this novel in time, he's got a job ;)
Wow. Harsh. Did you give him a severance package?
A box of crumpled papers. ;)